Isn’t it sad when the phone ring sounds sweeter than the guitar and cymbals of a Norah Jones number?
It’s been almost two months since we came back from Arunachala.
The end of suffering doesn’t seem near. It’s certainly been more than 7 years. Have I never been a Boddhisattava? If I were to believe the Great Teacher’s words, I’ve been around forever. Is something longer than forever?
The view of the Hill from Arunachaleswara Temple is more magnificent than from the Ashram. When you are done running around the various shrines, and arrive at the temple courtyard and look up, there it is, suddenly massive and embracing. I loved th gigantic Nandi. He seemed to know me. Dear Nandi, please do not abandon me. I am a tiny little creature in so big a world, I cannot do without You.
Sometimes relief will do. Salvation seems over the top.
Arunachala welcomes you on His own terms. I found it difficult to climb. Well, I am not a terribly fit person. And I decided to climb without slippers as is usually advised. Arunachala is not Shiva’s abode. Arunachala is Shiva. The Father. The Reclusive Father, who it seems is very loving. Where is my share of love, my Father? What am I to you? Your supreme indifference is killing me. They say You are kind. Really? What kind of Father are you? Mera number kab ayega? They say you are within, then why do you feel millions of miles away?
“Naam tujhe hote Gora houni nishkama”. Gora, the saint from Maharashtra, sang this with utter love. I don’t think i know that kind of love, yet I feel that line in my bones. It’s my earnest, sincere and desperate prayer.
God, i wonder why they call you the Almighty… when you can’t even find a piddly, haughty auto three nights in a row?
My ascetic Father, give some of your ascetism to me. No, I don’t want to wear ochre robes (though i love the colour ochre) and live in the jungle. Thank you very much. I like my spouse, the comfort of my home, music, books, movies, and nice clothes. What I want is the ascetism of the mind. Would you please command my mind to not sweat over the small stuff? It’d be awesome if it does not get hyper over big stuff either.
Ramana Maharishi’s Akshara Mana Malai is a beautiful song. I wonder why it discovered me only recently. It feels like i have written it. Ramana did not seek God. God came to him unbidden. Enlightenment, nirvana happened to a young lad one fine day. He did not have to go through the misery of seeking. Yet, how well he knows the anguish of the seeker’s heart!
Dear friend, if you know that heartfelt beautiful song, please hum it for me. Will you?…
Tags: Akshar Manamalai, Arunachala, Arunachala Shiva, blog, Ramana Maharishi, seeking, Siva, The Hill
October 12, 2011 at 10:11 pm |
beautiful post. this song, naam tujhe gheta Gora, houni nishkaam, reminds me of my beloved, Ramesh Balsekar, who sent me to Tiru and got me swallowed.